Senator The Comtesse of Greed

Here's an old story about the initial days of the Bush presidency and the exit of the Clintons. For those on the East and West Coasts struggling to come up with plausible explanations about why Ms. Clinton is struggling, perhaps this will bring back some memories.

THERE WAS a story in The Washington Post the other day, a version of which you have read 700 times or so in the past eight years. The story concerned the latest assortment of money-grubbing, power-abusing acts committed by the former President and his first lady, Senator the Comtesse de Greed.

In keeping with tradition, the story quoted various anonymous confidants of the former first couple explaining that (1) it was a mystery how such smart, capable, fine people as the Clintons could have suffered such inexplicable lapses in their otherwise flawless taste and judgment and (2) the real blame lay with staffers or advisers or the media or the right wing or gremlins.

Meanwhile, also in keeping with tradition, various of the Clintons' many mouthpieces were fanning out from their dens and warrens at the K Street law firm of Weasel, Weasel, Ferret & Stoat to spread the good news that none of this mattered anyway, that things were not as they seemed and that everything that had been done had been done for the best and noblest of reasons.

The sibilant sound you hear is a long, dawning sigh of relief. People are slowly remembering that White House life does not have to be this way.Generally, we do not have to read stories, day after day, about a first couple's pals refusing to testify in criminal investigations into the first couple's financial dealings; or about women who credibly allege that the president groped them or mauled them; or about shady donors declaring that the White House is like a subway, you have to pay to get in.