Give That Boy a Good Family Name

My younger and only sister called this morning to tell me she is having a baby boy. Needless to say, the family is thrilled for her, although we would have been thrilled regardless of her answer. "I'm having an 'it'." That's fantastic. We haven't had an "it" in the family since uncle Henry's third child. It's about time we added another.

They discussed the positives about having a boy. My brother-in-law hit immediately upon the most important one: "No unwanted teen pregnancies." My sister obviously had her list ready to go: "And you'll have to teach him about sex and how to go to the bathroom." Important points.

I think she was a little nervous about asking for my help with names, so to make it a little easier on her, I'll discuss it here. They live in the deep south in my hometown. As is tradition, she'll want to go with something hyphenated. The advantage is that you can kill two birds with one stone. You want to throw a bone to both sides of the family whenever possible, so you can start by considering the grandfathers. Vernon-Jacob. Vern for short of course. The possibilities are almost endless.

Sometimes with the hyphenated approach you'll want one of the names to be simple. The first can be two syllables: Warren. The second, one: John. Warren-John or Bobbie-Mark. The other advantage of the hyphenated name is that it allows you to combine a name from the feminine side of the family without labeling the child in an unintended way. Roy-Marie. It also helps with the "it" children in that there are only a limited number of androgynous names. Hyphens allow you to be more creative.

We are fortunate on our side of the family to have a number of top-notch boys names: Roy, Warren, Vernon, Albin, Alfred, McDonald. You can also use a family name: McDonald, Gustin . . . Combining a first name with a surname can give the child a unique name that's sure to standout among his schoolmates. Roy-Gustin, Gus for short of course, would be easy to spell and yet unusual without warranting an a^&-kicking.

Another positive southern alternative is to use letters. WC, EG, VJ. The use of letters only allows both sides of the family to presume the letters represent a relative or distant relative on their side and gives the parents a pass. WC could stand for Warren-Carl, but it could also be William-Cate.

If she decides she wants to break with tradition and go with something a little more trendy, there are thousands of possibilities. Trip, Trever, Tyler, Wyatt, Kacey, Jacoby (gives a nod to the Jewish side of the family without calling attention), Maddox, Xavior (better learn to fight quickly with this one) and Yancey for starters.

I have other ideas where these came from, but this should get her started. Now that she knows that I'm willing to help and am full of good ideas, she can call me directly.