The Replacement for Prada?

Does anyone see the irony and hypocrisy of this?

Lindsay Lohan totes one to dance class. Eva Longoria takes one shopping. Jennifer and Brad shared one before their divorce.

It's the latest celebrity craze since adopting African babies - an Israeli bodyguard with training from the Israel Defense Forces.

Recently, Lohan unveiled her new bodyguard - an unnamed ex-Israeli Army specialist. Kevin Federline's lawyer hired IDF-trained Aaron Cohen, founder of the Beverly Hills-based IMS Security, to serve Britney Spears' camp with subpoenas for their custody battle. Even that dubious friend to the Jews, Mel Gibson, has relied on one to part the waters for him. For more than a decade, Avi Korein was Gibson's personal bodyguard before he opened his own Beverly Hills security firm, Screen International Security Services.

So what's the allure of these Israeli security mavens? According to industry experts, it's a combination of discretion and training.

I can just see these idiots being escorted by their Israeli bodyguards to the studios where they are filming their anti-Israeli films.

Elijah Shaw, CEO of Icon Services Corporation in St. Paul, Minnesota, once hired an ex-Israeli commando to guard a famous actress who was being stalked on an international tour.

"I've used members of the Israel Special Forces - its equivalent of the Navy Seals - when I've had a specific, high-level threat," says Shaw, whose clients include Naomi Campbell, Michael Bolton and 50 Cent. "They operate at such a heightened sense of awareness. Because of the constant conflicts there, they're always on alert; they never switch off."

Perhaps now is the time to interject some political commentary about the baby killers' treatment of the Palestinians freedom fighters. Or maybe the stars could sport those trendy keffiyehs that Arafat made popular and every nitwit with a negative IQ throws around her shoulders with a pair of straight leg jeans.

The good news is that these bodyguards are draining the wallets of those most in need of having their wallets drained.