Toys for Tots

Of course this is appalling. If it weren't it wouldn't have made the news.

Cellphones, laptops, digital cameras and MP3 music players are among the hottest gift items this year. For preschoolers.

Toy makers and retailers are filling shelves with new tech devices for children ages 3 and up, and sometimes even down. They say they are catering to junior consumers who want to emulate their parents and are not satisfied with fake gadgets.

I can see giving a cell to a high school kid when the kid goes out at night. There is no other reason. And I like how the article says that junior consumers are "not satisfied with fake gadgets." Perfect. Saves on Christmas presents. You get nothing this year.

“If you give kids an old toy camera, they look at you like you’re crazy,” said Reyne Rice, a toy trends specialist for the Toy Industry Association. Children “are role-playing what they see in society,” she added.

That seems to be the case even when youngsters are not old enough to have any clue how to use actual gadgets.

Yunice Kotake, of San Bruno, Calif., recently purchased a Fisher-Price Knows Your Name Dora Cell Phone for her twin year-old daughters. But a few days later, she returned the play phone to a local Toys “R” Us, after she found that the girls seemed to prefer their parents’ actual phones.

“They know what a real cellphone is, and they don’t want a fake one,” Ms. Kotake said.

We need to revisit Ms. Kotake's twin girls in 6 years. They will be monsters. I wanted the cutting knife in my mother's hand when I was 2, but she wouldn't let me have it.

Parents give presents all the time that never get played with. Somethings will be a hit, others not. The fact that Ms. Kotake took the phones back to the store for a refund after she'd given them to her children to play with is grounds for bonus points.

Start with this list of preapproved toys: a soccer ball, a baseball mitt, books, bicycles, tricycles, a play house, swings, books, clothing, jungle gyms, books, barbies, books. Is it obvious that I don't have children?