Scrappleface II

Bush Welcomes Gore with Low-Carbon Ceremony

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

(2007-11-26) — President George Bush today demonstrated that he can be gracious to his defeated opponents by welcoming former presidential rival Al Gore to the White House with a low-carbon ceremony to celebrate Mr. Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize for publicizing man-made global warming.

The day’s events began when the White House sent an ox cart to pick up Mr. Gore at his hotel, where he had arrived by S.U.V. motorcade last night following a charter jet flight to Washington D.C.

All lights had been extinguished at the White House, and the thermostats set to zero, in preparation for the former vice president’s arrival. The fireplaces were cool and devoid of logs. A Bush aide gave Mr. Gore a pair of official White House ear muffs, and guided him to the Oval Office, through the darkened hallways, with the help of a hand-cranked flashlight.

The president invited Mr. Gore to sit in his own chair, where Mr. Bush said, “You would have sat as you signed the Kyoto protocols.”

The two men sipped cold tea and nibbled organically-grown raw carrots before the official ceremony recognizing Mr. Gore’s accomplishment.

Since cameras, lights and recording equipment use electricity, the production of which is rapidly destroying the planet, TV and radio reporters were forced to abandon their gear before entering the White House.

Fantastic.