Transportation in China

We'll start with air transportation. Like everything else, the Chinese air carriers are built to hold Chinese people. Big fat American butts don't fit in the seats. I'm quite certain that the average 737 manages to hold 20 additional passengers. Chinese passengers anyway.

Would-be passengers are often startled to hear "This is the final boarding call for Flight MU 856 to _____" 45 minutes before the plane is scheduled to take off. Do not be alarmed. "First" and "final" are often interchangeable to the Chinese.

On boarding the plane, it might at first appear that there is a crowd of airline employees gathered at the entrance to the gate. Do not be alarmed. This is called full employment. Within a span of six feet, there is one person to make the announcement; another to check your ticket; another to check your passport; another to take a black magic marker and put a check mark on your ticket and a final person to make sure you have a check mark on your ticket before heading through the gate to board the bus (see below). You will find a repeat of this when you get ready to board the plane.

A colleague of mine recently traveled to India in the economy section of an unnamed Chinese carrier. He's a typical Midwestern cattle fed man, and he fretted about the placement of the armrests (I think he said somewhere between his bellybutton and the middle of his thigh). The passenger sitting next to him was Chinese, as were all the other passengers in economy. Westerns knew better and were in business or first class. His seat mate promptly removed his shoes (I'm told they'd seen better days) and proceeded to hack and spit on the floor in front of him for the duration of the 7 hour flight. It did not bode well for the rest of the trip.

When flying domestically or on many international flights (this certainly includes Hong Kong) the Asian carriers are too cheap to pay the fees to pull up to the terminal. As a result, passengers must exit using stairs and then hop on a bus with 3000 other people to get to the gate. This is pleasant enough in October and May. But Shanghai is not Hong Kong or the Bahamas. It is cold and rainy all winter and as breathtakingly hot in the summer. The last thing you want to do is face the elements and then a bus with no heat or A/C. I got into an argument over dinner with a good client and some businessmen who assured me they had never been forced to walk the plank at the international airport. The following morning I received a phone call from my client: "Guess where I am?" I assume you are at the airport. "I'm in a bus heading out to my plane".

Expect to encounter air turbulence during your flight. Once in air turbulence, don't expect to get out of it soon. Announcements will be repeated frequently to remind you that there is still air turbulence and that you should keep your seat belt buckled until instructed otherwise. They will interrupt your inflight movie (if you are in business class - see above on the importance of business class). The atmosphere above China is not any more "turbulent" or rough than any place else in the world. It is simply that the Chinese military takes more than its fair share of the friendly skies. There are 13 levels in the sky where planes can fly. Civilian aircraft get their choice of 6 or 7 of those. The military gets the rest. This problem is not lost on the Chinese government which recently negotiated for several additional spots during the Beijing Olympics. It is not lost on USTR either. Additional space for civilian airlines is one of the negotiating points in the upcoming trade negotiations between the US and China. Let's hope for some movement.

Vehicular Traffic: I've never been on a bus in Shanghai, but I have been the target of many of them. The first thing to realize on moving to Shanghai is that the traffic guards present in most major intersections are not there for your protection. They are there to protect the buses and cars. The order of priority in public rights of way is as follows:

1. Buses and trucks;
2. cars;
3. motorized scooters and motorcycles;
4. bicycles;
5. you;
6. children
7. animals.

Be very clear of your rank in the pecking order before you attempt to cross the street.

The painted lines in the rights of way mean absolutely nothing. Don't bother worrying about them. Just look right, left, back and front before crossing. Or taking a walk down the side walk.

A number of streets in Shanghai have outlawed bicycles and motorcycles from the street. Chinese aren't easily discouraged. They will fly down the sidewalk on their motorcycle at 90 miles per hour honking continually at pedestrians and wearing what appears to be an English riding hard hat. One can only wonder if the hat and the Bund are the only vestiges of British occupation remaining after Mao.