Elevators

In a restaurant on the 5th floor of an art museum in town, a plaque in the particularly small elevator read "Maximum Load: 13 people". Taped below it was a piece of paper that read "Or 4 Aussies".

Elevators in China are much smaller than you will find in the Western hemisphere, despite that they are required to hold 4 times as many people and are much slower. As a result, you will share the elevator with 10 -15 people at peak times during the day. There is no concept of personal space in China and nothing drives that home like standing on the elevator with someone's head of dirty hair in your mouth, another person's elbow in your ribcage and third person's halitosis streaming across your shoulder. My office is on the top floor, so this is an endurance test for me.

Most buildings are under-served by elevators, so it is the custom of Chinese to stand directly in front of the elevator so that their foreheads are approximately 2 inches away from the center of the doors. No need to wait until anyone has exited the elevator before stampeding on. This creates unnecessary chaos and delays at each stop. It is also customary to bang on the Door Close button immediately upon entering. This is a habit I've taken with me to the United States where it signals that there is a fire in the building or a nuclear bomb in the parking garage below.

Most elevators have flat screen TVs in them that promote products and services all day long. Taco Bell really needs to work on its advertisement. I have no idea what it says, but I know it is embarrassing. There are many advertisements for weight loss products - a mystery given that the average weight for an adult in China is probably 85 lbs. The advertisements are in Chinese, so I don't think they are directed at the fat westerners on elevator - the only legitimate targets.

Building management recently upgraded our elevator banks along with a number of other upgrades to the public spaces in the building. There was hope that management might (a) clean the elevators at the same time and (b) do something to speed them up. I assume there were some mechanical improvements made that aren't readily visible. Unfortunately, I don't know what they are. What I can tell is that the elevators now talk to you in English. "Fourth Floor. Doors are closing". Not helpful. Particularly to the Chinese who don't speak English. And they are slower. And dirty.