Dinner Celebration

One of the engineers in my office got married over the May holiday. Marriage here is different, not surprisingly, from the US. A couple decides to get married and obtains their marriage license. Some time in the first year after receipt of the license, they will have the wedding. The wedding is hosted by an announcer who will tell stories of how the couple met. The wedding venue is filled with pictures of the happy couple taken by a photographer in advance of the wedding.

In this case, my colleague was required to go to the bride's parent's home and give her family money in return for her hand. It is a foregone conclusion (it was in this case anyway) that her family will consent. I believe the money part of it was all staged for show. Food and drinks are served at the party and it is taped for posterity. The wedding guest give the couple red envelopes of money rather than gifts (apartments are small in China so money is far more practical). For an invitation to the wedding, guests are expected to give 400 to 800 RMB.

He was married in another province, so he and his wife took the office to dinner tonight. It was a Chinese Hot Pot called the Dollar Restaurant on the 21st floor of a building on Nanjing. Contrary to the name, the food was very good. We had a nice party room with a long table that barely seated us (we were a large group). Because of our size, the room was on the inside, so we did not have a view. None of the Chinese in my office drink much, so the fresh squeezed fruit juice was flowing.

As is typical in these venues, the rooms are very ornate and decorated with strong colors. This one was purple with red velvety chairs. There were mirrors on two walls and several on the ceiling. There was a white table cloth on the table (there always seems to be at Chinese restaurants - it is evident that I am not a native born chopstick user by the oil spill in front of my chair). Each of us had his own hot pot (you will often see shared pots), and as is always the case, there was a ridiculous amount of food. Excellent fresh vegetables, meat, fish.

We had a fantastic time and ate until we couldn't move. I'm sure the dinner was expensive and I'm sure our group gift didn't cover the cost. My western colleague and I had resolved to give 800 RMB each, but we were overridden by our assistant who firmly assured us it was inappropriate to give that amount on this occasion. 100 RMB is the limit. Our assistant is the "Miss Manors" of China, so we rely on her opinion in all types of situations. My western colleague commented that this was the one time Chinese tradition worked in our favor.